This is very long,
In the next few days I will break it up and add pictures.
But right now this needs to be seen by as many as possible.
Please take the time to suffer the long story.
Parental abuse occurs in many forms.
Beccis only child Kate has ignored her mum for most of the time since mums stroke.
We are now close to 500 days since Becci had her bad stroke and became partially paralyzed with a whole host of other serious issues.
I have kept quiet for too long.
Kate is married to a man who calls himself a pastor.
Brian Eggenberger.
He teaches special ed children.
Kate is stay at home mum to 2 children, Luka and Levi.
Working from home Kate teaches piano and has a small photography business.
They live in a nice home with 2 late model vehicles.
They are doing well.
During the first 4 months of mums problems Kate had to be constantly pushed into seeing her mum in hospital and personal care homes.
I needed help as my health was poor.
See here if you are interested on how I have been cheating death for last 8 years.
It got so bad a life coach had to be involved just to get convince Kate she needs to help and give up time.
The husband Brian has done nothing right from the start.
His family have done nothing.
I have always believed when 2 kids get married the families also become joined.
Brian’s parents are also big time Christians.
Becci home schooled Kate with Christianity and Christ at the forefront.
Becci is a former choir girl and piano/organ player at church herself.
I mention all of this because as someone who understands Christs message but has not been a regular at church, I am shocked and surprised at how these people have treated Becci.
I had to shame them on Facebook just to get the family to come visit Becci in hospital one full month after she had been admitted.
Yes no one had even visited her after one whole month.
Hard to believe?
It is for me.
In UK, where I come from waiting rooms are full of friends and family when someone is ill.
During the times Becci was in hospital there were a few really nasty things Kate did.
I’m not sure she really grasped the fact that when someone has no insurance the hospital has different goals than the patient.
Here are a couple of particularly egregious decisions.
Becci brought up Kate as a single mother for much of the early years because the husband and father was a failed drug dealer and spent many years in jail.
More on this man’s story here…Coming Soon.
As anyone who has been a single mother knows it is tough.
Women historically are underpaid so money is always tight.
I have heard all the stories of when Kate was ill mum had to pawn off possessions to pay the bills.
Mum had to do 2 jobs when she could.
It was a tough life, but mum was a fighter and kept her child safe.
Becci married a sound engineer, Tim Himes, in 1992.
He did a wonderful job of looking after everyone and providing a stable life for Kate.
Its important to know that Kate had a great, loving childhood, with Christ at the center of everything.
So, in my mind there is absolutely no reason why Becci has been so badly treated by her daughter…and son in law.
For 500 days I promised Becci I would say nothing.
Becci feels so much shame that she has been abandoned.
Yet when I discuss this with others on Facebook in groups such as “stroke survivors” and “stroke caregivers” I find it is not unusual for parents to be abandoned.
It seems mothers are the most affected.
They feel so much shame and do not want to talk about it.
They blame themselves.
The usual question is ”What did I do to deserve this?”
There is absolutely no reason for the daughter to treat her mum badly.
I don’t know the son in law well enough.
But just the fact he is a pastor should indicate a certain humanity and understanding of Jesus’ teachings and actions.
So, for 500 days I have been the sole caregiver.
No help from either Kate or Brian.
We had to move from one county to another so Becci could avail herself of the better health system.
Obviously Becci is maximum assist. She was too weak to even help moving out of bed.
I had to use a lift to move her to wheelchair.
In those days Becci had to do her bodily functions in her diaper.
Fort someone whose mind is still sharp this is a dreadfully embarrassing and undignified way to live.
I had moved Becci away from the personal care home system because it was disgraceful.
I really had no idea how I was going to cope.
I have a bad heart and really needed another ablation because my heart was going to arrhythmias and my defibrillator was going off with greater frequency.
I just knew Becci would be better off in the middle of the sitting room as center of attention where everyone who comes to the house can interact.
During this time there was a particularly disgraceful and distressing occasion.
Mum was crying out for help and Kate would not visit to help.
The story here.
I had an ablation in May. I found a wonderful young lady who became a major help and lived with us during the week for a weekly stipend..
She saved both Becci and mine’s life.
Just 3 weeks after the ablation and doctors instructions to do nothing for 3 months, I had to organize the move.
Neither Kate not Brian lifted one finger to help.
The move including the rental deposit money for the new home came to close to $10000.
I tried to supervise but temperatures were close to 100 degrees each day here in Houston.
I had to call ambulance twice when my defibrillator went off.
Consequently we were robbed of identity documents.
Both our passports, my green card and driving license.
The cost to replace those has so far been $2000.
I haven’t had time to get Beccis replaced.
I could not employ a proper moving company because the quotes were so high.
I had to find labor at the local Home Depot.
Kate and Brian never lifted one finger to help.
From that day in June Kate did not come to see her mum at our house even once.
I moved as close as I could to them.
They lived in Fort Bend County and I had to move Becci to Harris County.
They lived 30 mins away.
Becci was also deprived of seeing her grandkids.
This was a particular hell for her.
Many days were spent crying when she saw the boy’s faces on Facebook or missed birthdays and Christmas.
How could anyone do this to a mother and grandmother?
In my opinion Kate and Brian have the blackest of hearts.
To date Becci has missed a whole year of the boy’s lives.
I know this has broken her heart.
It takes a monumental effort of reassurance and love to give her hope and calm her down.
I have to push her just to keep her motivated at times.
Damn these people for the cruel ways they have treated Becci.
I hope this blog stays on the internet long after I am dead and the boys find this.
They will surely ask questions of their parents.
I had promised Becci I would not embarrass her daughter.
But Beccis life is now in danger.
We were evicted by a nasty lawyer.
The story is here. “Evicted by nasty lawyer. We did nothing wrong”
Despite the court saying we should get our deposit money back the lawyer has said no and basically said “sue me”
A real nasty human being.
So the idea was to live in my cargo trailer for a few weeks and protest outside his church.
I figured he would soon get tired of the embarrassment that he would pay up and we could put a deposit on another house.
Obviously Kate and Brian could have lent us the money.
Heck if Kate had just given up her daily Starbucks latte she would have saved close to $2000.
They weren’t going to help.
Well let me tell you.
To live on the streets is so much harder than I ever imagined.
Some insights and stories here.
Plus trailer and old handicap van constantly breaking down stretched what little money we had. Altogether we have probably spent close to $4000 on parts and repairs.
After 9 weeks on the road we have only managed one protest and that was a failure because we picked the wrong day.
Story here.
We live 3-4 days in the cargo trailer and then find a cheap room to regroup and shower for the remainder of the week.
Now 9 weeks later the heat index is over 100 degrees and even the fittest of us could get heatstroke.
We have run out of money.
Our next social security payment is 2 plus weeks away and all bills are due at the end of the month.
We may have to forfeit our possessions in storage.
Losing everything Becci has amassed in her lifetime and what we jointly have bought over the last 16 yrs is breaking her heart.
I have asked for help for this and so much more from Kate and Brian.
Once I asked for money because Becci had a bad toothache and needed a root canal.
Who would deny someone when in so much pain?
These black-hearted souls did.
If you had a dog in great pain you would pay to have a vet take a look.
We now have SNAP food stamps but have 3 more days before more money is loaded.
The cupboard is basically bare.
We have to vacate this 300 sq ft room tomorrow and go back living in cargo trailer full time.
I cannot afford Beccis pills, one of which is the blood thinner Xarelto.
I had to miss a doctors appt and 2 diagnostic tests today because the van is broken.
I have asked for help for all of this.
They have just ignored us.
The next bills are vehicle insurance and then one of the Medicare plans for Becci.
Both of which seriously impact Beccis life.
If Medicare is cancelled I don’t know what I can do.
She is just starting to get thorough treatments and therapies.
I wouldn’t treat a stranger like this if I could help.
In fact when we had a house we gave a room to a homeless man who was down on his luck
His name is Charlie Dunn III and he was a successful steel trader before his divorce and subsequent unravelling of his life which led him to be on the streets.
We are all just one paycheck or disaster away from the streets without a support group.
Surely you would help your own mother or mother in law if you could?
I have written a letter to their pastor in the hope he might counsel them.
He has had the letter 2 days and nothing.
The church is obviously prosperity gospel.
How can you get rich if you have to spread your money to others?
We shall see what happens.
Maybe you might want to call them or write.
Urge them to look hard within themselves and try to imagine what Jesus would do.
Don’t do anything for me.
Do it to save Becci’s life.
Kate Eggenberger
832 768 1569
Brian Eggenberger…pastor?
I took his number out of my phone book.